Friday, June 25, 2010

Obama’s Long-Form Birth Certificate: A Quick $10,000.00 for Dr. Conspiracy

It appears that I gave Dr. Conspiracy a tough math problem to tackle. I have published a Catalog of Evidence that details evidence pro and con for a Hawaiian birth for putative President Obama. The catalog which is entitled, A Catalog of Evidence - Concerned Americans Have Good Reason to Doubt that Putative President Obama Was Born in Hawaii, may be read at Dr. Conspiracy tells us he has a masters in mathematics and that he has calculated using his vast knowledge of mathematical formulas that my Catalog of Evidence equals 0. He arrives at that by multiplying the 35 (the then-number of paragraphs in the Catalog) by 0 (Dr. Conspiracy’s assigned value to each one of my paragraphs) which he so artfully explains equals 0. Calling his complex calculation, “Multiplication by zero,” Dr. Conspiracy explains how he solved the problem: “This one may yet see the light of day. I was inspired by the posting of Mario Apuzzo’s 35th entry in his catalog of Obama smears. While I’m not a real doctor, I do have in [sic] Masters Degree in mathematics and one of the things you learn pretty early on is that any number multiplied by zero is still zero. The point of the article is that Mario may have 35 things in his catalog, but if they are all worthless, then the value of them all is 35 times 0.” Indeed, Archimedes would be pleased.

Well, now that I have found someone who is a world-renowned mathematician working on my Obama problems, I figured that I would give Dr. Conspiracy another math problem. Bill Keller, leader of, an internet ministry that has over 2.4 million subscribers worldwide and who is seen daily on Comcast's MyTV8, has issued a $10,000 reward to MSNBC host Rachel Maddow to produce Obama's Hawaiian long-form birth certificate. Late last year, Keller was hired to produce and host an infomercial that was seen in markets around the country. He asked the simple question, where was Obama really born? Maddow used her MSNBC program to mock and demean Keller and others who simply request that Obama produce his long-form birth certificate. Keller contacted Maddow's producers and offered to appear with her on her program, but she declined his offer. As a result, Keller has made his $10,000 offer to Maddow to produce Obama's Hawaiian long-form birth certificate. One would think that if Obama has released his birth certificate like his enablers tell the world, the $10,000.00 should be easy money for Maddow to earn. But let us see if she is able to produce the birth certificate and take her cash.

What I need to know from Dr. Conspiracy is not anything about who Keller is, who his great-grandfather was, whether he goes to church on Sundays, whether he practices a true religion, what version of the Bible he reads, how many dogs he has, and whether they are full bred. And I surely am not interested in hearing from Dr. Conspiracy how Keller can himself obtain the birth certificate or some other variant such as a Certification of Live Birth (COLB). Keller would not be making this offer if he could have done any of that himself. Rather, what I need to know from Dr. Conspiracy is how do we calculate the true value of $10,000.00? Does the number have a true value or is it just illusionary? I need to know this information so that I can determine whether Maddow will accept this $10,000.00 challenge. If Dr. Conspiracy determines, after applying his mathematical skills to solve this complex math problem that the $10,000.00 number does really offer true value, may I suggest to him that he investigate whether Maddow will be accepting this challenge. If she is not, may I then recommend to Dr. Conspiracy that he himself accept the challenge. I am sure that it will be an easy challenge for him to overcome since he has been for almost 2 years vociferously and zealously defending at his conspiracy blog Obama’s claim that he was born in Hawaii and ridiculing the efforts of anyone investigating Obama’s claim. He should therefore have the necessary long-form birth certificate and additional paperwork to easily overcome this challenge and collect the cash.

May we all wish Dr. Conspiracy great success on making this fast $10,000.00.

Mario Apuzzo, Esq.
June 25, 2010

P.S.  Here's a report of an offer to pay $25,000,000 if Obama provides to them a copy of his "real" long-form Birth Certificate, if one exists, which would show the name of the doctor or mid-wife who delivered him and the name of the hospital.


William said...

And WND has also offered 10,000 as well.

If Dr. Conspiracy would use his complex equation he would conclude the solution equals 20,000 dollars total.

He can derive that 10,000 times 2 equals 20,000. It may be a bit difficult for him though.

Robert said...

The rewards I've read about now total $120,000. However, there is a mathematical probability that Dr. Conspiracy is making far more than this working as a shill for Obama.

And even if that is not the case, the truth is always going to be much stronger than any of the fiction that DC produces. Yes, he is a very skillful and clever writer. But his constant twisting of the facts is very apparent to all but the most mind-numbed Obots. Dr. Conspiracy knows that he has been fully discredited in the intelligent and fair-minded crowds. In fact, anyone with at least an 8th grade understanding of the principles of research can see through his material at first glance. His only remaining purpose, mathematically speaking, is to keep the Obots in tow as long as he can.

Unfortunately for him, his more recent writings are beginning to betray that he doesn't actually believe much of what he writes either. his tone is beginning to sour and his tempos are dragging. His rope is clearly unraveling. Like I said, he's not an idiot. But he does have a job to do. So, give him a few props for staying the course as his ship is sinking.

It will be too bad for Obama when guys like Dr. Conspiracy have had more than they can stomach. DC probably bought in to the whole "Hope and Change" bit. Or, maybe he's a Marxist, Socialist who really hates America like Obama. In any case, it will be interesting to see just how much manure he is willing to shovel before any remaining thirst for the truth and real "Hope and Change" that he might have overwhelms his debunked philosophies and misplaced loyalties and demands reconciliation.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I got my own article!

@ Robert who said: "The rewards I've read about now total $120,000. However, there is a mathematical probability that Dr. Conspiracy is making far more than this working as a shill for Obama."

And it is a little-known provision just for me in the new Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act that I get free health care for life. You don’t think so? Have you read it? Isn't it great to have powerful friends?

Thanks for a little levity on this rainy Friday afternoon

Dixhistory said...

Dr. Conspiracy said... Wow, I got my own article!

that's right, now be a good dog and go fetch all that money.


jayjay said...


I think it would be helpful, when the Kerchner case is heard on its merits, that the Conspiracy theorist be formnally "invited" to testify under oath about where he obtains all his "factual" information about Obama's eligibility as well as other helpful contacts he might have.

After all, 35 times 0 may (or may not) be zero but that is merely a mathematical artifice and here we are dealing with law, not math. That makes the dood doc (who now admits he's not a doctor) out of his league as he clearly knows little about law.

Isn't there a legal term for such observations??? Something like "nullity ab absurdo"??

A pen said...

I guess the good doctor wouldn't mind calculating the benefit of putting ones own neck in a noose that fits another. In days gone by they were known as seconds however today they are known as idiots. Excuse me, I believe the correct term is useful idiots. I calculated that myself from years of living in the real world where it is well known that any person who can't accept reality is an idiot however I have yet in all my years found a use for one and that explains why the term was coined for use in a communist revolution to describe those who would put a noose around their own necks if they were told it was for the benefit of the worker.

Unknown said...

Back in March, Dr. C guessed that the Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit would uphold the dismissal of Kerchner v. Obama and the opinion would run just four pages. Most of the commenters on his site thought the opinion would be short, primarily just citing Berg v. Obama. Mario recently ridiculed the idea that his case is that much like Berg's. We should see who was right pretty soon.

Mario Apuzzo, Esq. said...


Regardless of what the Third Circuit Court of Appeals does with the standing and political question issues, we still have to see if the Court will tell us whether Obama has conclusively proven that he was born in Hawaii and what it believes was the Founders and Framers definition of a "natural born Citizen" and whether that definition still prevails today.